Joan Teebagy
There is an ongoing joke in some of our churches when any reference is made to the time of church events or services. People will jokingly ask: "Is that ' American time' or ' Lebanese/ Syrian/ Russian/ Romanian/ Greek time'?" in response to visitors' shocked reaction to tardiness at church services, people will reply, "Our people [meaning the Orthodox are al-ways late." The sad thing is that our people are not always late. They are on time for doctor's appointments, school, work, piano lessons, luncheon dates, movies and shows and even Little League practice or sunrise hockey practices. Doesn't the community worship of God deserve the same effort and respect?
Some will say God would rather have them late than not be at church at all. I'm sure that this is true, but even the most understanding of spouses will soon tire of being constantly taken for granted and will demand more respect and consideration. Converts to the Orthodox Church are often shocked at their initial exposure to this indifferent attitude about punctuality at church services. "Blessed is the Kingdom" marks the beginning of Divine Liturgy with only a handful of people in church to hear it. Parishioners straggle in even up to the point of Holy Communion, as if five minutes of church was enough preparation. What does this show God about our commitment to Him when we wouldn't dare miss the first half of a movie or a show? What does this teach our children?
Children sense our priorities not only by what we say, but especially by what we do. Although this responsibility falls mainly on the shoulders of parents, every church member is a role model and "Christian Educator" just by virtue of being a member of that community. We all must make the effort of putting God and His Church first, and show it by arriving on time on a regular basis.
Some parents make a conscious choice to bring their children late to church, because they feel their children cannot handle the entire Liturgy. The importance of children's attendance at Divine Liturgy is addressed in a previous article entitled "Should Children Be in Church?" As a mother of three young children, ages 5, 3, and 1, I know the effort it takes to get children ready for church and to be with them for the entire Divine Liturgy. It is my strong belief, how-ever, as a mother and a professional educator, that children should be in church, and they should be there on time. They do adjust, they do adapt to routine, and they listen and learn more than you know.
It is no small task to get families ready for church and there
on time on Sunday mornings, and still main-tain a "holy
atmosphere." As a wife of a priest, this responsibility
is usually exclusively mine on Sunday mornings, but even with
help, it can be a hectic task, especially if you have very young
children or a nursing infant. Here are some ways to move those
lively "spirits" out on time on Sunday but still keep
with the spirit of worship in church. Also included are reminders
from the previous article about children's time in the liturgy.
1. Plan the night before. Get the children's clothes pressed
and ready. Pack up their bags with church school assignments
and projects, offerings, Divine Liturgy books and for the very
young, small snacks, crayons and picture books. Remember to pack
up the diaper bag too.
2. Spend a prayerful, quiet evening and attend Vespers if you can. Remember to read the Gospel reading for Sunday and have children remember to listen for key words. Go to bed early and rise early.
3. Keep breakfast for the children simple. Clean up can be dishes in the sink until you return, if time is short.
4. Have children read or play quiet games instead of turning on the television on Sunday morning. You may wish to put on Bible Story videos, especially if they are related to the Gospel Readings for that day. There are videos that tell the bible story with-out extra characters as in some of the cartoon versions of them.
5. Be sure to build in extra time, especially if you have a distance to travel. I knew of someone who had to travel 50 minutes, including the crossing of an international border, but she still managed to make it on time with her two young children. It can be done if it is a priority in your life and the desire is there.
6. Upon arrival at the church, remind the children of certain routines, such as lighting a candle before entering church or kissing an icon. Remember the following suggestions to make the time in church more meaningful (For details read earlier article entitled "Should Children Be in Church"):
a) Sit as close to the front as possible so children can see.
b) Bring materials for the children as those listed in #1. A new Divine Liturgy book for children is now available through the OCEC (Orthodox Christian Education Commission).
c) Prepare your children for Liturgy by reading the Gospel reading for the day the evening be-fore church, and have them listen for key words. Teaching your children certain routines such as lighting a candle before church, watching for the Little and Great Entrance, listening to the Gospel, reciting the Lord's Prayer and receiving Holy Communion, not only breaks down the service so it is manageable for young children, but also teaches them a great deal about the Divine Liturgy itself.
7. Be mindful of Christ and His Church throughout the week by daily prayers at mealtimes and bed-times, reading the Bible stories along with their other favorite stories and participating in good works. In this way, getting ready for church and arriving on time is a natural extension to their everyday life. Your own spiritual strength is important in making the Church a priority in your own life as well as your children's. Remember, you are the most significant role model for your child in their spiritual development in the church.
In conclusion, we all have days that make delays unavoidable, and we will arrive at church later than we would like. Do not let these days discourage you, for you will be welcomed with open and loving arms. However, continue to make the extra effort the fol-lowing weeks to show commitment and respect for God and His Church, so you may experience and enjoy the fullness of the journey of Divine Liturgy by arriving on time. We must teach our children that the gathering of our church family to worship God is more important than our social and secular demands of this world. If problems arise, seek advice from your pastor or other parents. Most importantly, take care of yourself spiritually, spend time in your own quiet, reflective prayer at home (as much as a young family will allow), and be mindful of Christ's presence when the community gathers together to worship God.
(Joan Woodward Teebagy has been a member of the Department
of Christian Education in the Antiochian Archdiocese for several
years and has recently been appointed the chairman of the Curriculum
Department of the OCEC [Orthodox Christian Education Commission].
She is the wife of Fr. John Teebagy, the pastor at St. John of
Damascus Orthodox Church in Dedham, Massachusets.)
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